Korean car manufacturer Kia Motors has announced plans to unveil their latest concept car, designed specifically for New Mexico.
Concept model of the new Kia Zia
On their website, Kia states the new Zias will come standard with a number of safety features and amenities customized for New Mexico residents and will be priced so that even a never-married single woman with four children will be able to afford a brand new car.
Kia Motors ordered numerous demographical statistics charts to get a good idea of the type of vehicle that would most benefit area motorists. Kia executives were perplexed, shocked, and even humored at test results, but proceeded with manufacturing anyway.
In addition to the regional amenity features, Kia states the Zias will be equipped with the best quality components for safety and durability.
Ki-duk Kim, Kia Motors spokesperson, stated, “We make Kia Zia strong. We make it good. We get good price on parts from friends next door in China, then we make best car for world people. Built to last, but don’t drive too fast!”
The Zias will also come standard with a top speed of 86 miles per hour to conserve fuel and to deter people from using the cheap cars as getaway vehicles. Kia states if 88mph is achieved, the Zia will vanish into thin air, leaving behind two flaming skidmarks. The first models will be made available in two styles, Biggie Size Road Monster and Cool Low Rider.
If you are interested in purchasing the new Kia Zia, please visit your local Kia dealership later this year.
STANDARD FEATURES OF NEW KIA ZIA
- Bright safety orange exterior paint for visibility during dust storms and convenience store robberies
- Oversized spoiler mounted on rear of vehicle for aerodynamic and aesthetic purposes
- Integrated child safety harnesses in every seat to accommodate a minimum of four babies; optional upgrade to harness more children
- Explosively loud stereo system with huge speakers built into every door with complimentary CD of “Ridin’ Dirty”; optional upgrade of massive subwoofer system in rear cargo area
- Integrated ignition Breathalizer system to prevent vehicle from starting if driver is drunk; optional wireless transmission to nearest police cruiser for successful drunk starts
- Fart muffler with Full ReleaseTM
- Fake testicles hanging from the rear bumper to show driver’s “toughness” (a theft prevention device)
- Center console gun case with fingerprint-activated lockbox
- License plate privacy shades
- Under-seat beverage cooler with a capacity of six “soda” cans
- Blue or green ground FX and turbo hydraulic lift kit on 7” chrome-plated spinners
- Custom body damage on your choice of front or rear fender
- Fuel system designed to run on canned corn with fully automated can insertion vacuum tube
1 comment:
2009? The Kia Zia is already out and about in Cruces. They tend to congregate in the parking lot at Sonic on Friday nights.
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