CATCH THE SKIDMARK and smell the roses! Available monthly at select Las Cruces locations and always online at www.lcskidmark.blogspot.com
REALLY GOOD CRAP for sale every weekend at Mucho Mama’s Junk Fest! Broken bikes, cracked dishes, pirated DVDs, dolls with matted hair, and MUCH MORE!! Sat & Sun in the K-mart parking lot.
SKIDMARK NOW HIRING Do you have survival skills? Are you clinically insane but able to hold a job? Join our team! Must be proficient in rock climbing, gutting large fish, and coding HTML. Email today!
SLEEK STRAP ON magnifying glasses, fits over regular reading glasses. Perfect for being able to read Sun News classified ads. Call 555-5555
SPREAD THE SKIDMARK Do something for the community and help spread the smear! If you would like a stack of ‘Marks to distribute here, there & everywhere then just email us already! We’ll get some to you ASAFP! lcskidmark@gmail.com
VICIOUS PIT BULLS ready to go. Must be kept outside all day in treeless backyard surrounded by garbage and chained to gas pipe. Trained to bark day/night and terrify passersby. Call Dwayne 555-5555FOUND: 3D GLASSES in boxes in dumpster behind plasma donation center. Call to identify. Keeping one box as reward. Call Nada 555-5555
BARELY USED BABY seat for sale. Some blood stains, cracked harness, used once. Visit the Casa de los Niños Muertos rummage sale Saturday 9am
UNIQUE COOKIE-CUTTER house for sale. Looks exactly like neighboring houses, but front door is painted with Desert Storm instead of Tortilla Taupe. Sharp! Picacho Peak CC Subdivision, 1710 Prickly Pear Maze Loop. Come to open house this weekend so you can be just like everyone else! Only $350 G’s – bargain!
GENTLY USED NUTS for sale. Had them dangling on my Ford Nitro XX RU-486 HD crewcab, sold, too much gas. Nuts don’t fit on new Kia Zia, sacrifice for 10 bucks. Call Macho at 555-5555
NERD SEEKS NERD Short white male looking for some light dating and friendship with another ‘educated’ person. I’m in dire need of some wit and intellectual conversation. Proper grammar and picture required for a reply. Email me at snake_in_my_ass@hotmail.com
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