“It’s OK To Believe In Aliens, Young Jedi”

VATICAN CITY - The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, was quoted as saying the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” Funes said. “Just as we consider earthly creatures as ‘a brother,’ and ‘sister,’ why should we not talk about an ‘extraterrestrial brother’? It would still be part of creation.”

“The extraterrestrial is my brother”

“The extraterrestrial is my brother”

In the interview by the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion “doesn’t contradict our faith” because aliens would still be God’s creatures. Ruling out the existence of aliens would be like “putting limits” on God’s creative freedom, he said.

The Bible “is not a science book,” Funes said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most “reasonable” explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter. But he said he continues to believe that “God is the creator of the universe and that we are not the result of chance.”

“The church has somehow recognized its mistakes,” he said. “Maybe it could have done it better, but now it’s time to heal those wounds and this can be done through calm dialogue and collaboration.”

Rev. Jose Gabriel “Cacafuego” Fumar (pictured right), breaks it down like this: “Look; we’ve spent all this time and money trying to get through to you people, and gain control once more from the Rebel Alliance, The Protestants, The Enlightenment, and especially the America and such as. Hello! We’re still wrapping up the Crusades. That’s why we think it’s high time that y’all embrace your fear and hate and come over to the Dark Side. Of course there are aliens. Just look at my brother; he’s broke, don’t do shit. What do I got to do to get through to y’all? Shoot lightening bolts through you from my fingers and ass? We aliens are among you. Where do you think velcro came from? It’s time for you to submit or reap the whirlwind, mindless American sheeple. And don’t forget to vote.”