HUMBERTO’S GIFT CERTIFICATE $25 value, will sell for $20 or trade for case of Gatorade or something to calm diarrhea problem. Call Pancho 555-5555
HOT NEW STUFF for sale. Hard to find DVD of Sleepless in Seattle still shrink-wrapped $25. iPod loaded with Michael Bolton’s entire catalog $150. And much more. Page me 555-5555
NEED POLITICAL ACTIVISTS to demonstrate outside City Hall. Must have riot experience, at least one arrest, and a loud voice. Must have obsessive desire to ban the use of crosses city-wide. Contact Paul Weinbaum 555-5555 or email crossessuck@aol.com
LOOKING FOR HISPANIC man with no tattoos, gang ties, baggy pants, pit bulls, or kids. Must be smart & sensual. No Budweiser drinking. I want a Latino lover. Call Ashley Kate at 555-5555
WANTED: FREE CAR Single mom with 3 adorable angels and another due next month needs some wheels! Can’t pay nothing, don’t have a job. Prefer newer model SUV w/ custom wheels, but will accept any nice car. I’m a single parent. No money for extra stuff. Hit me up on my cell Natalie 555-5555
LEARN TO TEXT Classes forming now. Learn all the slang, jargon, and code words. Thumb stretching exercises to prevent injury. We show you how to look attentive so you can keep texting while driving. Visit website www.omgloltext4u.com
DRAG RACE TEAM forming for Friday night races up and down Lohman & Amador. Must have Japanese car with fart muffler and underbody glow. Meet us at Graham Cracker Station Friday 10pm. BE THERE!
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