Fnord Manfredgensinson “On Assignment”
Architectural rendering of the proposed Walmart site downtown
“Build a fucking Walmart on it, already!” says Jon Stickelmeyer, “and, like, the whole (downtown) problem will just, like, vanish.”
Mr. Stickelmeyer, spokesperson for DDT-LC, understands the deeper issues. “I mean, like, every mom and pop business owner knows that Walmart is going to crush them into bankruptcy. They can’t compete. And now the city wants us to pay to redevelop the mall. It’s a joke.”
“Why don’t Walmart pay for shutting out free trade in Las Cruces?” Jon asks between gulps of his brown bagged 40 oz. malt beverage. “Make them fucking cough it up.”
Mr. Stickelmeyer is referring to the new and controversial taxation plan that local government wants to use to raise funds for developing the mall. In this scheme, the city proposes to mandate that Las Cruces taxpayers foot the bill for the downtown mall re-development. They just can’t decide the how and why of it.
“You’ve got these guys living on the hill up there, right,” says John, motioning to the Organ Mountains, “well they don’t live in ‘Cruces, neither. They draw all the water, come down here to shop, pay taxes somewhere else, and make us poor bastards pay for their mall. It’s bullshit.”
In the mind of DDT-LC, the mall question is simple math. Someone is making more money keeping the mall empty than they would make if the mall were a vibrant free- market milieu.
“They’ve got the numbers. Got the plans and studies. They just don’t want to take responsibility for what they did to the heart of the city. And they talk about some great day in the future, when, thanks to God, they‘ll fix the mall and everyone will live happily ever after. You know, like every time there’s an election. These candidates cry all over talking about how they want to prevail, fix the whole works. Then they don’t do shit. If someone wanted the Downtown Mall fixed, well, I reckon, they’d fix it. Fast.”
Is the end near for small businesses in Las Cruces?
There is some truth to what Mr. Stickelmeyer alleges. Studies indicate that so-called big-box stores are able to outprice and outsell smaller competitors in the market because they buy and sell in such high volume. Customers flock to the stores, able to stretch their hard-won dollars. Las Cruces is a perfect example. In spite of being the second poorest state in The Republic, Las Cruces celebrates one of the highest grossing Walmarts in the country. Consumers shun smaller, slightly more expensive, local retailers to pay for items manufactured in China at the expense of U.S. manufacturers.
The answers come easily from Mr. Stickelmeyer. “You know, here is the same as anywhere. Fuck your neighbor! We want the cheap shit! Why do you think we named a city street after the Walton Family? Do you really think they give a shit about us? They don’t live here. I’ve never met no Walton here. Papa Walton cared, you know. Went to all his stores and hugged his clerks. But he’s gone now.”
2005, A bad case of herpes?
2505, "Free at last!"
2 comments:
I love Walmart!!!!!!!11!!
YES!! Who wants to buy books some grody poor person has traded in! We don't need a cultural downtown. We can get all the culture we need at Walmart. And the "real" mall!
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