Throb: See What's Pumpin' in 'Cruces!

See what’s pumpin’ in ‘Cruces!

G-Fresh, Throb Columnist

Yo yo yo, ‘Cruces WASSSSUP!!! Spring is here and we’re heating things up for another great summer. We got a smokin’ lineup of music events scheduled this month, the Las Cruces Hash Bash at NMSU on April 20, plus the 1st Annual Wicked Tattoo Burnout going on the last weekend in April. But first the news you’ve all been holding your drawers up for – mark your calendars because it’s that time again, yo – time for Who Wants To Be A Rap Star? to be held once again in the Kmart parking lot.

If y’all remember what went down last year, we aim to keep the peace this year and all participants will be fingerprinted and strip-searched prior to the event, so leave them burners at home, bitches! The party starts with the ever-popular Bling Blitz where playahs have 60 seconds to put as many gold chains around their neck as they can: winner takes home the bling. Other events include Pin the Gold Teeth on the Rapper, Sagging Pants Pole Vault Competition, and “What’s That Sign?” The singing competition is open to everybody, no talent required other than the ability to lip-sync and assume the stance. Good luck to all! Peace out!

April Calendar of Events

April 1
White Sands Missile Range Open House: Meet Your Bombs Hands-on activities, bunker tours, and detonation demonstrations. Bring hearing protection. 9:00AM–2:00PM
April 4
Pit Bull Breeder Showcase & Talent Show Want to show off your vicious attack dog? Join us for hot dogs and prizes. 6:00PM at the Doña Ana Humane Society.
April 5
“Who Wants To Be A Rap Star?” Compete against other no-talent ass clowns during this all day event. In the Kmart parking lot.

April 20
Las Cruces Hash Bash Explore and experience the many uses of the infamous cannibis plant. In the NMSU Student Lounge at 4:20PM.
April 26-27
Wicked Tattoo Burnout Have only eight tattoos? Need more? Join Las Cruces’ top skin inkers and make yourself undesirable to employers forever! All day, all night, at Burn Lake.
April 29
“I’m A Great American” Workshop Are you a docile, tax-paying citizen and fearing the potential wave of civil disobedience from those environmental wackos? Discussion group at the Republican Party HQ, 7:00PM

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