Special Report: Diversity In Action
There. Or here?
Here. Or there?
Chances are, you came to ‘Cruces from out of state. Chances are even higher that state is California. In fact, 6.875 out of 10 new residents that have relocated to the Mesilla Valley since 2000 hail from the Golden State.
Now they have a place to call home.
Local woman Barbie Goldfarb, who moved here from Rancho Cucamonga Santa Rita-San Juan Capistrano, San Bernardino in 2002, says ‘it’s about time’. Goldfarb, who heads the local chapter of the California Cashouts Coalition (CCC), said she formed the group here shortly after relocating to create a community bond between West Coast emigrants.
“A vast majority of us Crucefornians came here to start a new life after selling our homes for up to five times what they are realistically worth in the modern real estate market,” states Goldfarb. “It’s tough to arrive in a strange new city, to move into a new house paid for free and clear, and to have an extra $425,000 just sitting in the bank with nothing to spend it on.”
Goldfarb discovered there were many, many, many new residents just like her and found the CCC to be a great way to connect.
The CCC was founded in 1999 by a group of California ex-pats in Boise, ID and has since spread to all the western states surrounding California, including Oregon, Nevada, Arizona, and Utah. And now – Southern New Mexico.
The California Cultural Center, a newly constructed pink stucco monstrosity sitting atop the highest point of East Lohman, opened its doors last month to any Crucefornian resident who yearns for a little taste of home. The Center can be easily recognized by its ring of palm trees, bubbling water fountains, and opulent display of luxury four-wheel-drive vehicles with California license plates.
Fellow CCC member Aaron Anderson, a recent Crucefornian, says he felt right at home at The Center. “It’s great. I’ve only been here for 3 months, but I’m a little bit homesick. Now I can come here to just hang out and do nothing. Everyone at The Center has blonde hair and boob jobs – it’s so hot!”
Anderson, age 26, says he spends his spare time purchasing affordable homes in the “urban core”, gutting and renovating the interiors “California style”, painting the exteriors in a subtle peach stucco, and flipping them for three times the price.
“It’s fun, it’s kind of like a hobby. Most of the people who buy my houses are from Cali too. They pay cash. They want to put in backyard pools – I don’t do pools, but I’m glad they are because I think the desert needs more pools.”
Although in its beginning stages of operation, the Cultural Center is planning many activities and is open to suggestions from Crucefornians to make Las Cruces as comfortable and familiar to them as possible.
“We just started the Rushhour Race. I know, it sounds crazy but it’s been a big hit. Basically what we do is get all the members of CCC to get in their cars and just drive. Drive, drive, drive. Mostly we stick around the Lohman/Telshor corridor, and we stay in a pack to produce the most congestion. We do it for about an hour each morning and afternoon, then a bunch of us girls meet up at Starbucks for a latte before going to our yoga class. In SoCal we hated the traffic! But there wasn’t any here and we missed it, so we’re making changes.”
The Cultural Center also offers massage sessions starting at $125 per hour, walk-in plastic surgery consultations, and The Water Shoppe – featuring more than 100 brands of bottled municipal tap water from around the world.
Currently under construction, and also under scrutiny of local environmentalists, is The Smog Bog. Once completed, the 2,000 square foot room, hermetically sealed, will give Crucefornians the chance to experience the same olfactory sensations as they had back home by pumping vehicle exhaust into the ventilation system. For health reasons, visitors into the room are allowed a maximum stay of five minutes. Proponents of the attraction state the human sense of smell creates the strongest sense of familiarity and nostalgia, and will help newcomers adapt more quickly.
Also in the works is an extra-curricular program where visitors can play games such as Pin The Cookie-Cutter Housing Development On The Open Desert Frontier and attend California Slang language classes so they don’t lose their nasally accent in exchange for local Spanglish.
If you are from California – and you probably are – and would like more information, visit The Center’s website at www.cccccc.cc or just head up to The Hill and look for the parking lot full of Lexus SUVs.
No comments:
Post a Comment